


Feels Like the First Time

by cogsandsprings



Category: Flushed Away (2006)
Genre: Awkward First Times, F/M, First Time, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27566416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cogsandsprings/pseuds/cogsandsprings
Summary: Rita has just remembered that she has no experience and realizes she needs to get ready if she and Roddy are going to have sex. Obviously this all goes very smoothly.
Relationships: Rita/Roddy St. James
Kudos: 6





	1. The Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my fic! This is the one that officially makes me the author of literally half of the Flushed Away fics here! I'm taking a break from my longer one so if you get sick of this one I have four other fics. Constructive criticism and general fannish behaviors welcome! Enjoy! <3

Rita had just finished adjusting the engine of the Mark II when she sensed that Roddy was poking his head around the doorway nervously. “Hey, Rods. I just finished. What’s up?” Rita turned and indeed Roddy was there. Good. That would have been embarrassing. 

Roddy slid into the room awkwardly. Oh, boy. “Hey, Rita…Could we talk about something…?” He gripped his hands tightly in front of his stomach. 

“Sure.” Rita could tell Roddy was quite nervous; his tail was lashing about like mad. “What is it?” 

“I don’t want to pressure you or anything…o-or to imply that I’m not pleased with the relationship or anything…” Rita raised an eyebrow. “I-I am pleased! Very pleased! It’s just that…oh I mean…hmmm…how to put it…” 

“Just spit it out Rods!” Rita was dying to know at this point. 

“We haven’t had sex yet is all!” Roddy blurted, then turned red and hid behind his hands. 

“Oh.” Rita paused and thought for a moment. It was true, she realized. They had gone on plenty of dates, kissed, made out, and done some light petting but never had sex. It had been six months. Rita felt like a complete arse! She had to do something! “Do you want to have sex now?” 

Roddy squeaked. “Right right now?! No! I mean, obviously yes I want to but do you think we should? I don’t want to pressure you or anything and I mean, I don’t even have any condoms and don’t you think we should use a condom-?” 

Rita stood and put one finger against Roddy’s lips, silencing him instantly. “Maybe we could acquire some the next time we go to the shops but it doesn’t have to be now, Rods.” 

“So I didn’t offend you or anything? And you’d like to have sex?” 

“Pssh! Of course! I’ve got my very own sexy guy right here,” she kissed him soundly. 

“Good. Great! I will go do…um other things and let you continue with your things now. Bye!” Roddy turned and walked directly into the wall before turning and chuckling at her and leaving quickly. 

Oh god. Rita loved him. But her real concern was that she was nervous. She had never had sex, and not like in a prudish way or anything. But she was always busy helping her mum and dad and never had time to date anyone. Her family had always been more important to her. She needed advice and she needed help fast.


	2. The Unfortunate Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita seeks help from her only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two siblings so this is accurate lol

They had pulled the Mark II into the Malone’s dock with no issues despite how sweaty Rita’s palms were. Roddy seemed chipper and ready to serenade everyone with more Tom Jones, which would give her time to pull aside…oh god…Liam. She was gonna owe him so much but there was no other option. Her parents would turn it into a whole thing and she was the oldest child. God, did she really have no friends…? She supposed she had lived a pretty solitary life prior to Roddy but God she needed to get out more if she was gonna rely on her teen brother for sex tips.

“Ready, Rita?” Roddy broke her from her reverie. 

“Yep! Good to go,” Rita tied off the Mark II expertly and walked awkwardly next to Roddy. The dock seemed a mile long. 

Roddy eyed her. Oh god here it was. “Are you…okay?” Roddy asked tentatively. 

“Yeah, no worries! It’s just my family what do I have to be worried about?” 

“Okay, you’re right, nothing. Just…if something was wrong you’d tell me, right?” 

The door was so close now. Just a few more feet. “Yeah, totally, Rods. But everything’s fine.” She quickly rung the bell to discourage any response and they were immediately flooded with the kids, and Rita’s parents and grandmother and small talk, and then there was dinner. 

During the Performance, as Roddy liked to put it, Rita pulled Liam upstairs. 

“What’s that all about, then?” Liam shook her hand off his arm and crossed his arms over his stupid band T-shirt. 

“Shut it! I’m…god…asking you a favor.” Rita gritted her teeth as she said it. She was SO going to regret this. 

“Oh, ho!” Liam uncrossed his arms and steepled his fingers in front of his face. “The Big R finally caves and comes crawling to the master, the maestro, the original genius, and begs for help! How can I be of service?” he grinned cheekily. 

Ugh. Rita was already regretting this. “It’s about Roddy.” She awkwardly didn’t continue. 

Liam grinned a little more evilly and said “You want me to pants him in front of everyone and torment him so he breaks up with you?” 

“What?! No! Leave him alone it’s not that!” Rita smacked him indignantly. 

Liam smacked her back before taking a notepad out of his back pocket and crossing something off. Rita almost didn’t want to know. “Fine,” he said replacing the notepad, “what is it then?” 

She checked to see no one had followed them upstairs, then whispered, “I want to have sex with him.” 

“So bang him then, what’s your problem?” 

Rita sputtered, “I don’t have a problem! You’re the one with the problem!” 

Liam raised an eyebrow and deadpanned, “You’re the one asking your teen brother if you can have sex with your own boyfriend. Seems like you’re the one with the problem to me.” 

“I’m not asking your permission, god!” Rita threw her hands up and rolled her eyes. “I just know you’ve had sex – don’t argue –“ she pointed at him when he tried to protest, “ – so I was just wondering…like…if you have like…any…you know……tips.” She finished lamely. 

Liam burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter and Rita burned with embarrassment. “You little shit, shut up!” Rita swiped at him and Liam dodged, running down the stairs behind him. “Get back here!” Rita ran after him, only then noticing they had caused quite a commotion. Her mother raised one red eyebrow at her. 

Rita and Liam stopped immediately, wearing matching innocent grins. Their mother rolled her eyes and pointed at them “No horseplay. Rita I especially thought you would behave in front of Roddy.” 

A chorus of the children murmured, “Ooh, Rita’s in trouble.”

“Maybe she wouldn’t though,” Liam said cheekily. Rita elbowed him in the side. He elbowed her back once before their mother cleared her throat at them. 

“It’s quite all right. That’s just how siblings are, right?” Roddy seemed confused by Liam’s comment, thank god. 

“YES.” Rita said loudly. “But we’re clearly done with that now and it’s all finished.” Rita sat next to Roddy and smiled maliciously at Liam. She thought hard at him, “squeal and you’ll regret it.” 

Liam waved her off and retreated upstairs. Well, that was that then. Rita was well and truly screwed. Was she really going to have to ask her parents…?! 

The rest of the night went smoothly, with absolutely zero sex talk. Rita just couldn’t bring herself to ask. She had always thought of herself as self-sufficient and she didn’t want her parents to think she needed help or was a burden. Plus, it was gross. 

As they were leaving, Liam ran out the door with a brown grocery bag. It reeked of teenage boy. Rita took it delicately, asking, “Liam what the hell is this?” 

“For your little issue. I can attest to their quality,” He winked exaggeratedly. “Roddy,” he saluted him, “always a pleasure.” 

“Likewise…” Roddy saluted back weakly, confused by the exchange. After Liam left, he asked, “What’s in there?” 

Rita gripped the bag tight to her chest. “Nothing! Just some stuff I asked him about.”

“All right, all right. I won’t look, I promise!” Roddy raised his hands and chuckled. 

Rita hoped he was telling the truth, especially after she looked in the bag and saw what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOH WHAT'S IN THE BAG!!! You're about to find out with the next chapter. >:)


	3. Sex Talk With Maggie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita finds out what was in Liam's bag.

Rita felt ridiculous. Roddy was out at the shops and she begged off, wanting to see what was in Liam’s bag. She was sprawled out on her stomach reading a bunch of Liam’s ex-girlfriend’s teen magazines she had left at their place. Rita felt she should be waiting for a special boy to call her and twirling her hair. 

And these blasted tips! How stupid did they think she was?! She didn’t need instructions for kissing with tongue, thank you very much! Rita Malone had figured that one out on her own and was damn good at it. 

She flipped the page, beginning to lose patience. That is, until she saw the advice column titled “Sex Talk With Maggie.” “Ooh, what have we here?” Rita read closer. 

“Dear Maggie,” the column read. “My boyfriend wants to have sex but I’m nervous! I’ve never had an orgasm and I’m kind of scared to try sex. What if it hurts or something embarrassing happens? Please help, as I want to have sex with him soon. Love, Nervous.” 

That wasn’t exactly what Rita was looking for but maybe it would work. Her eyes raced to the response, “Dear Nervous,” it read, “Being nervous about sex is natural. It’s a very intimate process and you should make sure you’re ready. If you’ve never had an orgasm it can seem even scarier. Maybe try masturbating for a while first, that way you’ll know exactly what you like and you’ll be able to communicate better to your boyfriend what feels good and what doesn’t. Being more familiar with your own body can help alleviate some of the nervousness. Below are some tips to help you out. Hope that helps. Just take it slow and good luck! Love, Maggie.”

Just…masturbate? That sounded easy enough. Rita didn’t feel the need to do it very often given her low sex drive, but she admitted that maybe she did need to feel more comfortable with her body. 

She sighed and put the magazine aside. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She could totally do it. She undid her belt and jammed her hand into her briefs and felt around. 

It went like it always did. She circled her clit until she came. One and done. She didn’t feel any more comfortable with her body. Maybe she should have read those masturbation tips…

As she was reaching for the magazine to check, she heard noise on the deck. It was Roddy back from the shops! She only had enough time to either hide the magazines or do her pants back up and she chose the magazines. She kicked them under the bunk just in time for Roddy to come in the room. 

“Whoa,” Roddy said, eyes on her open trousers. “Am I interrupting something? I may have to let you finish because the shops were out of condoms. Can you believe it?” 

“I…already finished but thanks.” Rita blushed. This was embarrassing. Oh, wait! “What do you mean the shops were out of condoms?” 

“I know! But the manager said they would have another shipment by the end of the week. So we should be good to go then. I’ll put this other stuff away.” Roddy kissed her and she pecked him on the nose and waved after he pulled away. 

It looked like Rita had more time to get comfortable after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all wanna know how stupid I am, I almost called it a "girlie mag" thinking it was something British people would call it. GUYS. GIRLIE MAGS ARE PORN. Thank god I googled it lol but now you all can share in my idiocy :')


	4. The Masturbation Goes Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita decides to try the masturbation tips from Sex Talk with Maggie. It goes great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed the rating went up! There is explicit description of Rita masturbating in this chapter, so if that's not your cup of tea sorry. There really isn't anything plot related in this chapter, but there will also be explicit awkward sex later!

Rita was obsessed. She justified it to herself. She wasn’t “reading teen magazines” she was “conducting important research about how to have sex with her boyfriend.” 

Sex Talk with Maggie was a lifeline. Rita pored through every issue and found that the column only appeared in some of them. Rita singled those out and marked their pages with sticky tabs so she would know where the column was and what was particularly interesting. She had read about different positions, different sex acts, even BDSM, though she didn’t think they would be doing that anytime soon. 

In fact, she had been neglecting Roddy a little bit this week, but it was only so she could give him the ride of his life come Saturday after he got the condoms. 

Okay and she did also feel like she was catching up on an aspect of her childhood she missed out on. The celebrity gossip, teen boy band drama, the otherworldly beautiful female celebrities, it was all captivating to her. She had worked on her dad’s boat pretty much since she could walk and took providing for her family very seriously, so she didn’t have much time for this stuff as a kid. But now that Roddy had helped them with the jewels, she could indulge a little. Or a lot. 

Roddy had sensed she was obsessing and was politely giving her a wider berth, bless him. Rita was so going to blow his mind. 

Now that she had found all the columns and skimmed over them, she supposed it was finally time to try those masturbation tips. 

While Roddy was sleeping, she quietly tugged the masturbation issue of the magazine from its pile under the bunk and snuck off to the engine room, closing the door behind her and praying the noise of it would keep Roddy from hearing. She knew it was fine to masturbate but she felt slightly guilty sneaking behind Roddy’s back to do it. 

She opened the magazine to the appropriate tab and eyed the list critically. She rolled her eyes at the first item: “Step 1: Relax. It can be hard to get aroused if you are stressed or focusing on it too hard. Just take a deep breath and imagine a sexy situation to get started.” 

Rita took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She supposed the only way out was through. She imagined Roddy walking into the engine room. He was giving her a flirtatious smile. So far so good. 

Dream Roddy walked over and knelt next to her on the floor, kissing her immediately. He caressed her face and Rita did feel herself relax a bit. She continued imagining the kissing and added in some light petting as they usually would. This was good, she was relaxing. 

Rita peeked one eye open to see step 2. “Step 2: Touch yourself a bit. Now that you’re into your fantasy more, you can follow along and touch yourself how you would imagine a partner touching you.” 

Good, she was ready for that anyway. Dream Roddy squeezed her waist and moaned into her mouth and Rita wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed too. It felt a bit silly so she moved on to other touching. Dream Roddy was getting bold, rolling Rita’s breasts in his hands. Rita touched herself over her shirt, pressing and squeezing the way real Roddy sometimes did when he was starting to lose control. She gasped. It felt good to imagine Roddy. 

Rita took off her shirt and felt herself under her bra. Somehow keeping her bra on felt dirtier and she liked it. She could feel herself starting to throb a bit and took it as a good sign. 

Dream Roddy laid her down in the engine room, continuing to kiss her and toy with her breasts. Rita took off her bra and tweaked her nipples, groaning at the sensation. She hoped Roddy would do that when they had sex, because it was BONKERS good. 

Dream Roddy, tease that he was, slid his hands down her stomach to play with her waistband and kiss along her stomach. Rita lightly traced the path and shivered. She wanted to take her briefs off so she did, regardless of Dream Roddy’s intentions. 

Her cunt was exposed to the air of the engine room and she shivered again. She cupped herself and found herself surprisingly wet. Fantasizing instead of mindlessly tweaking her clit was going great. She silently congratulated herself. 

She rubbed at her lips a bit, teasing herself as Roddy might, and imagined Dream Roddy kissing at her thighs. 

Hm. Should Dream Roddy finger her or eat her out? Rita decided he would eat her out using his mouth only. That was closer to how she usually masturbated and would make less of a mess for her. 

Dream Roddy leaned in and licked a broad swipe up her seam, focusing particularly on her clit. Rita moaned quietly. She was throbbing in earnest now and circled her clit harder. She spread her legs, making imaginary room for him and gathered more wetness. 

Dream Roddy was completely face first in her, mouthing along her lips and licking into her shallowly, and Rita followed along dutifully. Her whole body felt like it was on fire and she felt the heat building low in her gut. 

She moaned again, redoubling her efforts on her clit and finally felt her orgasm crash over her. It was the strongest one she had ever had and even her legs felt weak. Thankfully she was able to keep quiet, so she laid there lightly fingering her clit for a few moments, confident she wouldn’t be disturbed. 

When she finally couldn’t stand to touch herself anymore, she stopped. She propped herself up and skimmed over the last step: “Your fantasy should carry you from here! Really focus on what feels good and what you might enjoy from your partner. Good luck and happy orgasms!” 

Rita mentally fist pumped. Was it weird to imagine she “won” at masturbating? Probably, but she had always been competitive. 

She pulled her clothes back on and after a quick clean-up she slid back into the bunk next to Roddy. 

“Hmm…? Where’d you go?” Roddy mumbled sleepily.

“Just peed is all. Go back to sleep, love.” Rita kissed his nose and Roddy fell back asleep immediately after slinging an arm over Rita’s waist. 

She no longer felt bad about masturbating behind Roddy’s back. She was gonna rock his world on Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rita's competitive ass, lol. As always, if you liked something don't be shy! I'd love to read your comments, critiques, etc.! <3


	5. The Sex Goes Terrible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Condoms acquired, Roddy and Rita attempt to do the do! The key word being, attempt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two have such good chemistry that I really struggled to make this awkward lol. I had no choice but to pursue the nuclear option!!

Saturday came sooner than she expected. She had followed the masturbation tips and did actually feel like she had a better grasp of what she liked, but when Roddy went to the shops she felt a pit in her stomach again. There was no way she had masturbated enough to be ready for sex this weekend! What was she thinking? 

Why was she so nervous? It was just Roddy. She thought of all the things she liked about him, his smile, his laugh, his slender and surprisingly flexible body, ooh that was it. She felt certain that Roddy would be cool about all of it, she just needed to do her best. 

When Roddy got back he seemed nervous too. Good, Rita thought. Or should she not think that? 

Roddy awkwardly say the bag on the table in the dining area. “I, um, got the stuff.” He said awkwardly, gesturing broadly in the direction of the bag. 

Rita smirked, “So I see.” 

Neither of them moved to open the bag. They just stood in the dining area looking at it. 

Rita awkwardly stepped towards the bag and pulled the lone box out of it. “Yep,” she said, “these sure are condoms.” She put the box on the table and slid it over to Roddy. 

“Yes, they are.” Roddy picked up the box and cradled it to his chest like a lifeline. 

This was going fantastically. 

Rita decided to speed things up. She stepped closer to Roddy and kissed him, hard and dirty. He groaned and put one hand out to put down the condoms and grip the table. Good, Rita thought. Roddy put a warm hand on her waist and licked over her lips. Ooh she liked this bit, the kissing bit. 

She slid her hands up and down his waist to make him shiver, then walked them back to the bunk. Roddy’s knees hit the bed and he flopped down. Rita climbed on top of him and kissed him some more. This was a make out position she was particularly fond of. Roddy let his hands grip Rita’s hips and they both groaned. So far so good. 

Rita started unbuttoning Roddy’s shirt so she could get at his neck. She sucked hard, the way he liked, and left a dark bruise in her wake. She loved seeing Roddy all marked up. He sighed and reached up to squeeze at Rita’s breasts. 

Mirroring him, she flung his shirt open to thumb at his sensitive nipples. Roddy moaned, bucking his hips up into Rita. She could feel that he was hard, but she was only a little turned on. Time to change that. 

Rita straightened up and took off her sweater and sports bra in one fell swoop, watching Roddy’s eyes go wide at finally seeing her breasts. She took hold of his wrists and put his hands on her, encouraging him to go at it. 

Roddy’s eyes fluttered shut at the contact and he rolled her breasts around in his hands, experimenting with it almost. They had only ever petted above the clothes, so this was new for them both. 

“Rita these are – they’re perfect, my god…” Roddy was subtly grinding his hips against Rita, and feeling his hardness was making her wetter. Perfect. 

Rita ground down into his hardness, then forward into Roddy’s hands. They settled into a fine rhythm like that, with Rita occasionally swiping at Roddy’s nipples, making him groan. 

Eventually Roddy grabbed Rita’s hips with both hands and turned them over so he was above her now. “God, Rita, I can’t take anymore. I want to do it, please!” 

“Yes, good. Me too,” Rita panted. She would probably need a little more before she was ready to take him, but that could wait until their pants were off. 

They both fumbled with their own belts, buttons, and zippers, until they were both completely naked. There was a bit of an awkward silence as they stared at each other. Rita really thought cocks looked a bit weird…? But she was willing to have it inside of her, she supposed. 

Roddy was slack jawed, staring openly at her cunt. Rita spread her legs cheekily, trying to regain some of their earlier energy. “Like what you see?” 

Roddy’s head snapped up. “What…? Oh, oh yes! Yes! It’s just. I’ve never…” he gestured vaguely at her, “you know. Seen one.” He finished lamely. 

“Well…” Rita reached up and put a hand around the back of his neck, “why don’t you take a closer look?” She pulled his head closer, and hoped he got the message that she wanted him to eat her out. This was going to be just like her fantasy, she just knew it! 

Roddy came closer and tentatively pulled her folds apart with his thumbs. Rita shivered at the cool air on her and scratched at Roddy’s scalp. He leaned back into it a bit, then leaned in and licked a broad swipe from the bottom to her clit. 

Rita’s legs twitched and she sighed. “Focus on the top,” she said breathily. She was getting more excited now, thinking back to her fantasy where Roddy licked and sucked at her. She wanted it badly; her cunt was throbbing now. 

Roddy shyly licked some more at her clit, making her moan and grip his hair, pulling him in for more. Roddy moaned then, putting more gusto into sucking on her clit. Rita clamped her legs around Roddy’s head. Yes, this was what she wanted. 

“More, Rods, give me more,” Rita panted, nearly grinding into his face. 

Roddy scraped his teeth across Rita’s clit and without thinking Rita punched him square in the eye. Roddy immediately flopped down onto Rita’s belly, limp. 

Oh god, what had she done?? He wasn’t dead, surely she wasn’t capable of punching a man dead! 

She quickly checked his pulse, then after finding that she did not in fact punch him dead, she rearranged them on the bunk so Roddy was on his back. Rita slipped to the dining area and fetched a bag of ice and a rag, then set them aside to wait until Roddy woke up. 

It was a tense few minutes, during which Rita admonished herself for getting so into the fantasy that she didn’t communicate clearly. How could she be so stupid! Roddy had never seen a woman naked before, how could she have expected him to know what to do? Stupid stupid! And then she had gone and punched him! Extra stupid! 

Roddy’s eyes fluttered open and he groaned. Not in a sexy way. His erection was totally gone. He sat up slowly, and gingerly touched his cheekbone, which was already quite purple. “Ah…ow. You’ve got quite a right hook, you know.” Roddy chuckled. “I will make a note to not use teeth in the future. Ow. Smiling hurts.”

“Rods, I am SO sorry! I absolutely did not mean to punch you, I have no idea what came over me! Here’s some ice,” Rita shoved the ice and rag into Roddy’s hands and awkwardly put her hands back into her lap. 

“Ooh, ice!” Roddy wrapped the bag with the rag and gently pressed it to his face, hissing at the pressure then pressing harder once he felt the cold. “That’s jolly good. I suppose I’ve got a black eye the size of Buckingham Palace.” 

Rita covered her face with her hands. “Yes. Sorry again.” 

Roddy put a hand on Rita’s shoulder and rubbed at it. “It’s fine, Rita. No one’s first time is perfect. And this will be a hilarious story when we’re drunk in the future.” 

“I really hope so.” Rita mumbled. 

They hadn’t even gotten to the real sex part. The condoms sat on the table, looming over them, mocking Rita. 

She was going to figure this out if it killed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rita lmao. Good thing Roddy is such a good sport, huh?


	6. The Actual Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita realizes what the actual solution to the problem is.

It was that time of the week again when they visited Rita’s family and Rita was dreading it. Roddy had a bruise that was indeed the size of Buckingham Palace and he seemed content to explain that it was an accident, with no further details. Rita knew her mum wasn’t going to buy it and that she was in for an earful once she got there. She was NOT looking forward to it. 

Roddy, oblivious thing that he was, reassured her that everything was going to be fine. He practically bounced off the Mark II, looking discordantly chipper with the black mark on his face. Rita, consumed by dread, leapt off the Mark II and landed on the dock with a dull thunk and tied off the boat. 

Yet again the dock seemed longer than usual. Roddy was aimlessly chatting about nothing and Rita was only half paying attention, her eyes fixed on the door where she knew her parents were waiting. 

When they reached the door and rang the bell, Rita’s stomach dropped. Ooh she was going to get yelled at she knew it. 

Roddy elbowed her, “Hey, it was an accident. They can’t get mad at you for an accident!” Roddy whispered. 

“Yes they can! You’re gonna find out my middle name, they’ll be so mad!” Rita whispered back. 

Just then the door swung open to reveal her parents. 

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. – ” Roddy started. 

“Roddy, darling, what happened to you?!” Mrs. Malone squeezed past her husband’s chair and grabbed Roddy’s face, gently turning it this way and that. 

“Ah, yes. Don’t worry. It was purely an accident!” Roddy grinned his charming smile, which was somewhat diminished by the fact that it clearly hurt him to smile so wide. 

“An accident?” Mrs. Malone turned to Rita, fire in her eyes. Rita turned away and looked to her dad for help. He shook his head. She was on her own. 

Oblivious yet again, Roddy continued. “Oh yes, an accident. It was quite funny really. Wish I could tell you but Rita wouldn’t have it.”

Rita felt the color drain out of her face. Here it was. Oh god. 

“RITA ELIZABETH MALONE! KITCHEN! NOW!” Mrs. Malone grabbed Rita by the arm roughly and Rita allowed herself to be led. 

“Oh nooo.” Roddy said, clarly surprised by this turn of events despite the fact that Rita warned him. “No, no, no, no, no! It was all my fault, really!” Roddy really had no idea how much worse he was making it. 

“Roddy, darling man, it is never your fault if someone HITS you!” Mrs. Malone looked pained to have to say it to him, then whirled around on Rita. “And YOU ought to know better! I raised you better!” 

“Mum, it really was an accident, it’s just embarrassing!” Rita pleaded. By now there was a gaggle of the children looking on, including Liam. 

“Rita, I swear to God – ”

“I USED TEETH!” Roddy shouted, immediately stopping all conversation and argument. “It was…instinctual, really.” 

Mrs. Malone blinked at him. Mr. Malone said sympathetically, “Yep, that’ll do it, lad.”

Liam interjected, saying to Rita, “You were supposed to look at those WITH HIM, you moron!” 

“Well I see that NOW!” Rita shouted back. 

“Look at what with me…?” Roddy asked. “Oh, the stuff in the bag from last time! Yeah, what was that all about?” 

“Good god, can I catch ONE break?! We’ll look at them later.” Rita covered her face with her hands. “I’m dead mortified and we haven’t even stepped in the house yet!” 

“That’s true!” Rita’s dad said. “Come on in, you two. Lunch is on!” 

Roddy went in immediately, chatting away with her dad, laughing about the situation, but Rita was waylaid by her mother. “Rita, I’m sorry. I never should have assumed – ”

“It’s all right, mum. I remember you telling me about your old boyfriend. You just got caught up in it. It’s all right.” 

“Still. I’m sorry I thought you would hit Roddy on purpose. But I am glad I taught you to defend yourself. That’s quite a shiner he’s got!” 

“God, I feel so guilty. He’s being such a good sport though.”

“He really is.”

They got inside and Roddy was already being greeted as Tom Jones by Nan. He was playing along nicely and singing for her. Like a real champ. Rita felt lucky to have him in her life. 

Liam cornered Rita before she could get very far. “You really didn’t show him the magazines? I thought you would.” Liam crossed his arms and eyes her critically. 

“I know,” Rita sighed. “I was just embarrassed that I didn’t know anything and thought I could do it by myself.” 

“It takes two to tango, you know,” Liam said, probably thinking he sounded wise beyond his years. 

“Again, I know. I’m just so used to working alone that I need to get used to being a team. Roddy is part of my team now. When we get home I’ll show him the magazines.” 

“Hey, you don’t need MY permission. Do whatever you want,” Liam raised his hands in feigned nonchalance and walked away, but Rita could tell he was proud of her. What a little weirdo. 

When they got home, Rita would definitely show Roddy the magazines, but for now, lunch was on and she was going to spend the day with her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. Malone loves her future son-in-law a lot :') RIP Rita lol


	7. Sex Talk With Roddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita and Roddy finally communicate!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a dopey little interlude before the Big Scene. A couple of rats goofing around. :)

As they left the Malone’s house, Roddy was practically vibrating with excitement. “I can’t wait to see what Liam gave you!” Roddy said. 

“It’s not that exciting, Rods!” Rita defended herself. Though she HAD kept it a secret, so Roddy knew she was going to be somewhat embarrassed about it and that made it all the more exciting for him. 

“Oh, I’m sure it is! I know it’s under the bunk but I haven’t looked, swear!” 

They climbed onto the Mark II and once they were a comfortable distance away from the Malone’s house did Rita park the boat and reluctantly move towards the bunk, Roddy practically skipping behind her. She crouched down and pulled the crumpled brown bag out from under the bed and dumped it out on the bunk. She crossed her arms and looked at Roddy. 

He was grinning like a maniac. “Liam gave you teen magazines!! My god, why??” 

“Iaskedhimaboutsextips,” Rita mumbled. 

“Sorry what was that?” Roddy put a hand next to his ear. 

Rita leaned in close to him and shouted, “I ASKED HIM ABOUT SEX TIPS.” 

Roddy leapt away, laughing. “Okay, that’s what I thought you said! You really should have shown me these though. But I like that you already have them all marked up with these tabs.” Roddy picked up one issue and thumbed through it. “’Sex Talk With Maggie,’ huh? Seems interesting. Let’s have a look…” he sat and began reading in earnest. “’Dear Maggie, My boyfriend likes whipping me – ’ ooh, okay, this one doesn’t really apply. Maybe you could show me which ones are good?” 

Rita shifted awkwardly before crouching and finding the issue with the one about oral sex. “I mean they’re all useful for something but here’s the one you might be interested in.” 

“’Dear Maggie, My girlfriend wants me to go down on her but I have no idea what to do. Help! Love, Mouth Blind.’ Weird name, but yes, that’ll do.”

“See and then it has the tips below, here.” Rita pointed to where she had circled and tabbed the tips. She really had been an idiot to not show this to Roddy. 

“Ah! Number one: no biting. Could have used that one, right?” Roddy shouldered her and laughed. This was going to be easier than she thought. 

They spent hours of the evening poring over the magazines, making jokes and insightful comments in equal measure. It made Rita feel warm inside and she conceded that working together on this was much more enjoyable than sneaking off to do things alone. They really were a team now. 

At some point they decided to break out the booze and make a night of it. 

“Ha! Look at this one,” Roddy pointed at a paragraph and hiccuped, his glass sloshing, “there’s no way it’s true that some positions make you more fertile! Like…you are or you aren’t, no?” 

“Well look, moron,” Rita pointed, “That says ‘Myth #1.’ They’re saying it’s wrong oh my god!” She laughed at him, not unkindly. She needed to set down her own glass and clutch at her stomach. 

“Oh. Really?” Roddy peered at the section again then scoffed. “Well, what do I know?? I’m drunk!” he started laughing too then. 

It was a long time later when they put the magazines away and went to bed, pleasantly warm with affection and drink. Rita was feeling a little vulnerable. “Roddy?” she whispered. 

“Yes?” Roddy whispered back. 

“Do you think we’ll be good at sex?” Rita kept her eyes steadfastly on the wall, avoiding looking at Roddy’s face. 

“Yes.” Roddy said. “But not right away, maybe. We’ll need lots of practice, I’d wager.” He kissed the top of Rita’s head and chuckled. 

Rita laughed too and rolled her eyes, “Oh yes, every day I think. Wouldn’t want to lose any progress, would we?” She kissed his jaw. 

“Definitely not. We should sleep though. It’s late.”

“Good night, Rods.”

“Good night, Rita.” 

It was going to be fine, Rita was sure of it.


	8. The Sex Goes Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally do the do!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sex here! Only one passing mention of rat anatomy (snout, I think), but as usual don't think too hard about it. :)

It happened surprisingly naturally. It had been about a week and a half after they started looking at the magazines together and Roddy and Rita were making out casually, like they did sometimes after a hard scavenge. 

Roddy had swept his tongue into Rita’s mouth, making her moan, when she realized this could easily escalate. She eyed the condoms on the table by the bunk. Yes, they could do it. 

Rita rubbed her hands up and down Roddy’s sides the way she knew he liked, then rubbed his nipples through his shirt. He broke from the kiss to moan into the air, then slipped his hands under Rita’s sweater to grasp at her breasts. 

“God, your tits are nice,” Roddy panted. 

“Yours aren’t half bad either, handsome,” Rita grinned cheekily, massaging Roddy’s chest. “In fact, why don’t you let me see ‘em?” At Roddy’s nod, Rita started unbuttoning his shirt, kissing and sucking at his neck. Roddy groaned and grabbed at Rita’s arse through her jeans. The somewhat rough treatment made Rita gasp and throb a bit. 

“You liked that?” Roddy said huskily. “How about this?” He grabbed her again and rolled them so she was sat on top of them. 

“How about THIS?” Rita pinched and pulled at Roddy’s nipples, causing him to arch straight off the bed and lightly touch Rita’s wrists. She could feel his cock twitch under her. “Do YOU like a little rough treatment, love?” 

Roddy’s hands fluttered for a moment before settling on Rita’s hips. “Yes, god!” 

Rita leaned down and licked at one nipple while rolling the other around with her thumb. She scraped her teeth occasionally just to keep Roddy on his toes. 

Roddy pulled her up into a searing kiss, their tongues rolling together wetly. He bucked up into her, rubbing his hardness to her. Rita kissed him back just as hard and ground her hips down into him, making him moan into her mouth. 

Rita straightened up and flung her sweater and bra across the room, allowing Roddy to slide his own shirt off before attacking him again. They kissed hotly for some time, grinding together before Roddy started fumbling for Rita’s belt. “Let’s get these off, shall we?” 

“Yours too,” Rita panted, moving aside to allow Roddy to take off his own pants. She felt like she couldn’t keep her hands off of him for very long. 

Once they were both naked, they spent a few moments just looking at each other and stroking each other. Rita grasped Roddy’s cock. The tip was wet and the shaft felt soft, almost silky. She stroked experimentally and Roddy sighed, “Haaa, Rita…!”

Rita really wanted to put Roddy in her mouth. She had read the tips and they had discussed what felt good generally, so she felt confident. 

She knelt on the bunk above him and kissed at his hip bones. She looked up questioningly and Roddy’s head thunked back. “Yes, god…! Please…” 

Rita bent down and licked up the shaft once, feeling it jump below her mouth. She licked at him some more, pausing at the head to swirl her tongue and suck on it a bit (with no teeth). She fondled his balls with one hand and toyed with his nipples again with the other. 

When she finally engulfed him in her mouth, he bucked up and nearly choked her. “Sorry! Sorry sorry…” Roddy panted. “Gonna keep that under control. 

“Don’t worry,” Rita said. “I’ve got it.” She pressed his hips down hard, then moved her mouth back down the shaft, sucking all the way. She could feel Roddy’s hips straining but her grip was strong as steel. 

She started bobbing her head slowly, sucking on the upstrokes and making sure to tongue at the tip and Roddy pulled her hair out of the tie and tangled his hands in them, guiding her more than pulling her. 

“God, Rita you feel so good…!” Roddy moaned. “Not to complain or anything, but I really don’t want to come yet… Could I try again with you?” 

Rita pulled off, then climbed up so she was hovering over Roddy’s face. “This alright…? I kind of feel like riding your face.” 

Roddy’s eyes fluttered shut and he groaned, palming himself slightly. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I want you to ride me so bad…” He was babbling a bit, which charmed Rita. 

She spread her lips with her fingers, showing herself to him. “How bad, love? Tell me how bad you want me.” She enjoyed having this power over him. It was intoxicating. 

“So, so, so very bad. Please Rita, please let me taste you…!” Roddy rested his hands on her hips, his eyes hungry and imploring. 

Rita finally lowered herself against him and felt him moan against her. He followed the magazine tips fairly closely, particularly the don’ts, but added his own flair. She could tell he was tracing the alphabet into her clit, but she couldn’t bring herself to care when he slid his fingers into her wetness at the same time and almost made her knees give out. 

Roddy surfaced for air and gasped, “Grind on me, please, Rita!” 

How could she say no to that? She ground into him gently, trying to make sure she wasn’t aggravating the remnants of his bruise, but he gripped her hips and pulled her down more firmly, so she figured it was alright to go harder. She writhed on his face, letting his tongue swipe through her wetness and using his snout to grind against her clit. She felt her orgasm building and would have called for them to stop if she hadn’t read that it was possible for women to have multiple consecutive orgasms. 

Instead she ground faster, relishing the building feeling until finally it exploded inside her. She bucked against Roddy’s face and groaned through it. When she had finished she lifted herself off of him and grabbed for the condoms. Her hands were shaking as she tried to open one; she still wanted Roddy so bad. She accidentally ripped the condom in half and threw it on the floor. 

Roddy gently took the box and opened one condom himself. He rolled the condom on himself and Rita was ready to push him down and take him now. 

Instead Roddy pulled at Rita’s hips so she would lift up and quickly plunged two fingers inside her. She was still sensitive form her orgasm and groaned at the feeling. She rocked into them as Roddy swirled them in circles, scissoring them like he had read. He added another finger and Rita sighed, “Hurry up, Rods! I’m dying to have you!”

Roddy bit his lip, eyes fixated on where his fingers disappeared inside of Rita. “Oh, is that right? Well, we can’t have you dying, can we?” He sped his fingers up, moving away from “pleasurable fingering” and more towards “getting her ready quickly.”

Once he pulled his fingers out, Rita sank down and ground against his cock some. Let him feel teased now. Roddy gave her an unimpressed look and she shrugged innocently. 

Finally Rita tired of the game and lifted herself up onto her knees. Roddy grasped his cock and guided it to Rita’s entrance. Rita slowly lowered herself and realized Roddy was fingering her for a reason. He was huge! Or at least he felt huge compared to his fingers… And his cock definitely felt foreign inside her. She had to fight herself not to clench against the intrusion. 

Rita stopped when the burn of the stretch turned to slight pain. She held herself up with her muscular thighs and was glad she was so fit, otherwise she would be in trouble. 

She rubbed at her clit, trying to get herself to relax, and to pass the time. Roddy rubbed at her hips and lower back, murmuring encouragement to her. Eventually she lowered herself even more, repeating the process until Roddy was all the way in and she could feel his balls pressing against her arse. Wow that’s dirty as hell but so good, Rita thought. Feeling him that deep inside of her was intoxicating and she let her head drop back, panting. 

Roddy trailed one hand up her stomach to her breasts. He squeezed at them and toyed with them while Rita adjusted to his full length. 

Finally Rita ground her hips in a little circle, testing the waters. Roddy’s hands flew to her hips, resting not gripping. She ground the other way and Roddy groaned. She tested grinding forward and backwards, finding that the movement stimulated her clit quite nicely. She started grinding in earnest and found herself moaning before long. She really enjoyed being on top and being in control and it seemed like Roddy did as well. She looked down at him to find his eyes squeezed closed and his hips bucking up into her slightly. She figured a little more up and down motion was needed. 

She lifted up slightly and found the friction delicious. When she came back down both she and Roddy moaned together. She lifted up again higher and came down harder. The pressure of Roddy’s cock hitting inside her was good but it could have been better. 

She leaned her torso back, arching so Roddy’s cock would hit where the magazines said the G-spot was. This time, when she came down, she nearly shouted, slapping her hand over her mouth and moaning loudly instead. Before she was fully ready Roddy bucked up under her, hard, and she squeezed her eyes shut and her thighs around Roddy. Oh, how good that was! 

“Want more of that?” Roddy asked. Rita could only nod mutely. 

Roddy sat up, gripping Rita’s hips and laying her down on the bed, repositioning them so he was above her now. Roddy slipped a pillow under Rita’s hips and pulled out before thrusting in again. Rita swore. It felt SO GOOD she could cry. 

“Faster, love, god…!” Rita groaned as Roddy picked up the pace. The feeling, the sight, and the sound were all deliciously depraved. The sweat dripping off Roddy onto her, the sound of his balls slapping against her, all made her feel desperate to come again. 

She tried to rub at her clit again, but Roddy waved her hands away and did it himself. He hiked one of Rita’s legs up onto his shoulder and Rita felt supremely dirty. With the additional pressure on her clit, the change in position hitting her most sensitive inside spots caused her second orgasm to start building. 

“Oh, Rods…! Rods, love, I’m gonna come…! Ooh!” Rita squealed through this one, clenching hard around Roddy’s cock. It was probably the most intense orgasm she had ever had. 

Roddy continued moving through it, though his thrusts were becoming uneven and rough. “Rita…Rita…Rita, Rita, Rita…! OH!!” Roddy threw his head back and came into the condom, though Rita could feel the warmth of his release. She clenched around him on purpose, hoping the feeling was good for him as his thrusts slowed and he leaned his head against her leg, sighing. 

“Good god… That was amazing…!” Roddy said tiredly. “How about you, are you okay? You came, right?” 

“Yeah, Rods. I came twice actually,” Rita laughed. 

“Twice?? I felt you come at the end, but when was the other one?” Roddy gently pulled out of her, both of them wincing at the feeling, then he tied off the condom and threw it away. 

“It was when you were eating me out, duh,” Rita called out to Roddy, who was in the kitchen area fetching water. “You couldn’t tell I was coming when I ground on your face groaning like an animal?” 

“Well, I thought you were close but hadn’t come.” Roddy passed her a water bottle. “Good to know I am actually good with my mouth when I’m not biting.” He jokingly chomped his teeth for effect. 

“Jesus, Rods, too soon!” Rita was laughing anyway as she sipped her water. 

“Hardly too soon for a little banter,” Roddy kissed her on the cheek as he climbed into the bunk to lay next to her. 

“So it was good for you too? The sex, I mean,” Rita sat her water down and propped her head up on her hand. 

“Oh, bloody fantastic!” Roddy laughed. “When you were riding my face, GOD! I thought I was going to cum right there. Had to pinch myself to stop from coming.” 

“Really? Well I’ll mark that one as good then.”

“Yes, please do. And how did you feel about the leg thing at the end? Too much?” 

“No that was good. A bit of an angle though. Maybe both legs up next time?” 

Roddy closed his eyes and groaned. “Aye aye, Captain! Will do.” 

“Oh, shut it!” Rita leaned in and kissed him soundly. Roddy put an arm around her bare waist and pulled her closer. Rita laid her head on his chest and sighed contentedly. 

She really had had nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's the end! I hope you enjoyed this little fiasco. I would really appreciate comments, if you have them. Thanks for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Rita strikes me as the kind of person who is very focused on family and work and kind of forgets to socialize or take care of herself and also has a pretty low sex drive. So I think she just forgot to try to have sex and is panicking now that she has a boyfriend lol. Her and Roddy are just two socially awkward idiots, it's just that Rita has all the street smarts.


End file.
